lately

it's amazing how quickly time gets away from me and i forget to record my thoughts.

it was a tough weekend for me emotionally, although for no reason outside of myself. i've struggled a lot lately with my attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors towards myself... i truly believe the humbling i've received in medical school has transferred to my own self-image, and i've come out the rougher (but eventually stronger?) for it. it's more readily apparent every day that i'm not perfect, and this permeates my thoughts. i suppose it's not a bad way to live, but it is emotionally draining to believe the worst about myself and know so often it's true. still working on this. healthy doses of encouragement are accepted... i have more than my fill of reality.

when not wallowing in self-pity, i spent time being culinary! on saturday, i woke up early and prepared an amazing pot roast to be cooked all day. carrots, potatoes, two kinds of onions, fresh garlic, lima beans, green peppers... all put together in the slow cooker with a 2lb. cut of beautiful top round beef. ::insert smell-o-vision here:: 8 hours in the slow-cooker, forever in my memory. YUM.

most of the rest of the weekend was devoted to cleaning the apartment and studying for my hematology/oncology exam. this has been an incredibly dreadful thing to do... i find any and everything more interesting than hematology. (sorry, blood, you're just boring.) talking with classmates, a lot has to do with the quality of lectures this module: subpar. today i actually got called out in class for yawning by the lecturer, who, prior to calling me out, insisted that "all of you with laptops need to stop looking at porn and answer my questions." wow. thanks, UASOM.

anyways, regardless my obligatory bitching, life is great. my sweet kitty woke me up this morning with copious purring and nuzzling, and henry takes care of me better than i do myself. if i could just get past these pesky exams, i could enjoy some turkey... here's to trying! cheers.