30 August 2010


how is the language we're speaking the same?
shape shifter have you discovered a change?

why does the soul hallucinate?
i've got control, i shift my shape

your eyes, they swell like a riot, deranged
tomorrow you're laughing like a child again

why does the soul hallucinate?
i've got control, i shift my shape
if flesh and bone do not contain
the mirrors don't reflect my face

psycho, you killer, you cancer, my friend
why don't you give me an answer for when
when you'll let it go
when you'll let it go
when you'll let it go

shape shifter, local natives

29 August 2010

bye bye, babies!

so i survived OB/GYN. !!! this is big, people. all-in-all i was pleased with my performance, although henry will tell you i whined my way through the entire 8-week rotation.

i actually ended up enjoying OB more than i thought. it's definitely one of those specialties (like trauma surgery) where you acquire awesome stories to tell at dinner parties (y'know, one day when you have time to go to dinner parties and friends who throw them). in retrospect, i am actually thankful for my newfound ability to wield a speculum, acquire and interpret a wet prep of vaginal discharge, and manage every aspect of a pregnancy. and i will say that when i got to deliver my first baby, it was - without a doubt - one of the most rewarding and beautiful things i have done in my short medical career.

and now i am one week into my four-week block of studying for 2nd round of boards and preparing my residency application. that's right, my RESIDENCY APPLICATION. after a lot of strife this past week, my application is mostly complete and ready to be sent to 20 (yes, twenty) residency programs on sept 1 when they start accepting them. it is completely befuddling to me that in less than 8 months, i will actually be an MD. simultaneously exciting and terrifying. sort of like a roller coaster, although maybe that's a bad analogy considering that i vomit every time i get on one.

after i take the USMLE step 2 CK exam on september 17, i fully plan to venture back into the world of pleasure reading. i have a stack of books i've been acquiring over the past few years in medical school (which in their own right have been acquiring about a 1/4" of dust). a few among them: inside the outbreaks, by mark pendergrast - a historical/ investigative report about the epidemology intelligence service at the CDC, aka my dream job; every patient tells a story, by lisa sanders - the writer who helped inspire the series House, MD; a few titles by my favorite author ian mcewan, saturday (from my dear from amanda) and the innocent; and my stroke of insight, by jill bolte taylor - a neuroscientist who had a stroke and wrote her story.

ahhhhh, 4th year. hurry up and be awesome! for now, though, i'm happy to bask in the glory of OB/GYN being over -- and the fact that i won't have to look at another vagina for a very long time.

01 August 2010

when i go down

in case this is my first blog post you've ever read, newsflash: i've been sort of a downer lately. life's been getting me down. one of the things that has added insult to injury was henry and i didn't get to properly celebrate our wedding anniversary earlier in july due to my all-consuming schedule.

and then - as if a direct gift from heaven (and i truly believe it was) - came my OB clinic week. i was scheduled for a few afternoon clinics, with friday and the weekend off. holy cow! thank you, jesus! so henry whisked me off to panama city beach, fl for a weekend getaway. it'll be 3 weeks of delivering babies starting tomorrow, but i feel refreshed and ready to go. bring on the baby-mamas!

here are a few pictures:

when i go down
i lift my eyes to you
i won't look very far
cause you'll be there
with open arms
to lift me up again
.relient k.