31 March 2009


so i've been trying to avoid blogging, facebook, and all the other time-sucking, in-other-people's-business fun on the interwebz. HOWEVER, i just had a major breakthrough that demands a post.

jaw-dropping newsflash: biochemistry is beginning to make some semblance of sense to me.

it's a miracle i can only ascribe to divine intervention (on behalf of
Lange Biochemistry & Genetics flashcards for USMLE). all i needed was 'the big picture.' i have 12,842,723 biochemistry resources from a million different classes, but not one of them describes what the heck i'm learning. now i have it. from flashcards. it's liberating.

...except that it's 11 days from step 1. ::panic attack::

23 March 2009

if you need me in the next 15 months...

here's where to find me!

04/10/2009 - 336 questions of hell. USMLE step 1.

04/29/2009 - 07/24/2009 RESEARCH

07/27/2009 - 08/23/2009 NEUROLOGY CLERKSHIP
08/24/2009 - 10/18/2009 MEDICINE CLERKSHIP
10/19/2009 - 10/23/2009 scholars week (1 week special topic course)
10/26/2009 - 12/20/2009 SURGERY CLERKSHIP
12/21/2009 - 01/03/2010 2 weeks off for the holidays
01/04/2010 - 02/28/2010 PEDIATRICS CLERKSHIP
04/26/2010 - 04/30/2010 scholars week (1 week special topic course)
05/03/2010 - 05/30/2010 ANESTHESIOLOGY SELECTIVE
05/31/2010 - 06/27/2010 EMERGENCY MEDICINE SELECTIVE
06/28/2010 - 07/25/2010 PSYCHIATRY CLERKSHIP
07/26/2010 - 08/22/2010 FAMILY MEDICINE CLERKSHIP

yippee for finally having a third year schedule! i'm so excited about rotations. so so so excited. ask me again how i feel about rotations during my surgery clerkship... i'm not so much the morning person i'm going to have to become. and yes, that schedule includes saturdays and sundays. it's called a pager. i'm going to have to learn to use it. YIKES!

18 March 2009

23 days until THE SMACKDOWN.

the question is: who is going to be smacked down, me or step 1? i'm seriously hoping the latter.

it is for this reason that i shall disappear into the land of ridiculous amounts of information for the next 3.5 weeks. i'll let you know how it goes. smooch!

14 March 2009


and a happy pi day to all! sandwiched right between friday the 13th and the Ides this year. terrific. hope yours was a nerdy as mine.

13 March 2009

rainy friday time machine

i just had an orange fanta. it tasted like childhood. mmmmm.

12 March 2009

life shall resume as normal. worry, take a hike!

the following is a back and forth of emails between me and my doctor about my abdominal MRI of my pancreas today (which i don't recommend - it's not very fun.)

from me, 10:15am
Hey Dr. S,
Hope you're having a great week! Just wanted to let you know that I had my abdominal MRI this morning without any trouble. If you hear the results, could you let me know in brief by email? That would help reduce my anxiety about what it might be (especially if it's nothing!)
Thanks for all your help, as always,

from my doctor, 3:30pm
Relax- it literally was nothing. There were no lesions seen on the pancreas. The read on the CT scan was probably either artifact (if you moved slightly) or an overcall by the radiologist. The MRI was totally normal.

... PHEW. i am ecstatic! if nothing else has been gained from these two weeks of worrywart's hell, it's a greater appreciation for the health i take for granted everyday. it's sad that it has to take such an experience for me to be reflective, but i am grateful for it and will move on in a different spirit.

love to all for thoughts and prayers. xoxoxo

06 March 2009

worry is worse with evidence.

health is fleeting. i have had more reflections about health, life, and death over the past few weeks than i have had in awhile.

i've had abdominal pain and nausea for a few weeks now. i'm not pregnant, i've never had abdominal problems before, and i have no idea what's caused it. i finally went to the doctor last friday who sent me to the ER with suspected early appendicitis. they took 4 vials of blood, started an iv, and did a CT scan. they couldn't find any specific cause for my pain. fortunately, after a much more acute bout of digestive trouble this past weekend, i began feeling a lot better.

unfortunately (or fortunately), the CT scan revealed a 12mm lesion on my pancreas. i will be having an MRI this week to help determine what this is. although in all likelihood it is something benign, the possibility of cancer lingers. "what if...?" my brain begins. sigh. medical school knowledge makes reasoning away worst-case-scenario difficult... especially when i've learned and memorized all the facts forwards and backwards.

sigh. sigh. sigh. i'll get through this, one way or the other.

and i'm gonna be alright, i'm gonna be alright
with you by my side
and i said i'm gonna be alright, i'm gonna be alright
with you through this fight
through it all

.mat kearney.